For the last few weeks I have been noticing an interesting trend among many my friends and clients. They are frustrated with each other, angry, and hurt. It seems that emotions are running high and folks are feeling the full weight of it.
Yesterday one of my Facebook friends commented that she had high hopes for the day, but someone had said something to hurt her, therefore her entire day was ruined. In my optimism, pointed out that no one can hurt your feelings unless you let them. My comment further irritated her, and she responded with a curt response, “Well, I’m sorry. Not everyone can be perfect.” I realized a little too late that what she really wanted was someone to commiserate with her misery, and tell her that it was okay to react that way. The fact is, I love her too much to do that. I care about all of you too much to do that, so I am going to share with you my thoughts on this.
Simply, no one can hurt your feelings unless you let them! If someone’s mean comment ruins your entire day, then you are allowing yourself to feel that way. The truth is, people who are behaving that way have a lot more issues than you. Their actions are a result their own drama, their own fear, and their own unhappiness. When you can step back, refuse to take things personally, and see the bigger picture, suddenly, you have no need to get offended. You may even decide to feel a little bit of compassion for that person. That is great, but NO saving allowed. Gone are the days of always having to be responsible for other people’s happiness. Right now, you are only in charge of yours. After all, when you are happy and operating through love, other people with catch that bug. You don’t actually have to DO anything.
So, how do you operate through happiness and love? You just do. You make a conscious choice to be “that person”. I read an article on MSN the other day that claimed that happy people on Facebook make other people feel bad. I think that is rubbish. Truly happy people have simply decided to be happy, regardless of their immediate situation. It doesn't mean that bad things don't happen to them. I doesn't mean that they don't have their own bouts with depression, grief and fear. It does, however, mean that they have decided to find some joy, somehow, in their lives. I love this quote: “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”-Ghandi. With that being said, you owe it to yourselves to surround yourself in people and circumstances that feel good. There is nothing wrong with weeding toxic people out of your lives.
Sure, the rain will fall in your lives from time to time. That is a part being human. We all have moments of anger, sadness, grief, etc. It is the way we react to that emotion that is the key. Can you emerge from it stronger, wiser, maybe even happier? Or will you allow it to destroy you, set you back, rob all other happiness from your life? The choice is yours.
Give yourself permission to be happier, love more, forgive more, and laugh more. It is the greatest act of love that you can give yourself. I am pulling for you! I know that you can do it, because I know that I can do it, and we are not that much different, you and I.
Today, I choose to live in my bliss, embrace happiness and spread joy. Join me!