Recently Kara and I went to visit a terminally ill client. He is in full renal failure and is not expected to live much longer. I wasn’t really sure why he wanted us to come, but felt strongly that we should go. As it turned out, he wanted to ask a lot of questions about death and dying. We had a deep and profound conversation with him. He was worried that he has not been a good enough person and that maybe some terrible judgement awaits him when he dies. It was clear to see that this man is well loved by his family and friends. He has done the best he could with the life that he had. I was saddened to think that he could possibly think that he has not been enough. Later that night, I shared that conversation with my dad. I was dumbfounded to discover that he shared similar fears about death and judgement. My dad, who is one the most well-loved people that I have ever known, is afraid that he has not been good enough. In both of these men, old worthiness issues were creeping in. I have been thinking a lot about this, I have decided that it is time to share my feelings on this very tender subject.

1- No dead people hate you. None. As a psychic, I do mediumship work from time to time. That means that I talk to dead people. I often work with clients who have regrets regarding passed love ones. Rest assured, my friends, grudges do not carry over to the other side. There is only one emotion that carries over and that is love. Love creates peace and joy. Your dad is proud of you. He adores you. Your grandma still pats you on the arm and tells you that she loves you. Even if you are making choices in your life that those people would not be happy with, they love your stinking guts. They don’t care if you smoke, drink, or got divorced. They aren’t watching to see if you go to church. They would even still love you if you kicked a puppy (but please don’t). There is not one darn thing that you could do that would change it. Love does not die, fear does.

2- You are not going to hell, you’re just not that badass. Seriously, you’re not, even if there was such a place. Life is about learning and loving. I have read for countless people over the years, and I have yet to encounter someone who did not have a beautiful, incredible soul. People are good at heart. They may make decisions that are not in alignment with their best good from time to time. That happens to everyone. You’ll have to figure those parts out after you die. Perhaps you will live another life that is similar to this one so that you can try again. Perhaps part of your life was to help someone else learn and grow. Did you learn to love unconditionally, forgive those who wronged you and take care of those in need? Did you laugh until your sides hurt, show gratitude for the incredible life that you were granted and make the most out of the time that you had? Then you are golden. If you didn’t, you’re still golden. You still get to enjoy a beautiful existence on the other side with your family and friends. The richness of this life is yours to gain because it is wonderful, not because it is required.

3- “Worthy” is a filthy word and has no place in your life. I hate that horrible word, worthy. It leads to the assumption that some people are better than others. That you, due to some choices or financial status or family situation are somehow not able to receive the gifts of the Universe that others enjoy. I call bullshit. You are “worthy” because you exist. Every single one of us is on the same level and every single one of us deserve to be happy and taken care of. You can do, be and have anything you want because you are you. When you die, the same theory applies. You are enough, right now and after you die.

Now that we have gotten these key points out of the way, go forth and do good. Do it because you want to. Do something on your bucket list because it makes you happy. Forgive an old hurt because you like being free. Show gratitude for all that you have because you are so blessed. We are all terminal from the first breath we take. It is time, friends, to live like you are dying.