How Katie Got Her Groove Back

I was working as a professional psychic advisor. It felt like I had the world in the palm of my hand. I had a successful business that I loved, an exploding clientele, and a fabulous family. I was bullet proof. Or so I thought. Then my mom died. It was quick, but not sudden. She had been battling cancer for many months, and we had just put her on hospice. I was still living in la-la land, convinced that we would figure this out, that she wouldn’t, couldn’t die. But she did. I was shocked, stunned, heartbroken. She was my best friend. Even worse, her death jolted me into the reality of my dad’s situation, because he, too, was dying from cancer. Survival mode kicked in, and though I was in a terrible fog, I went about the business of taking care of my dad. My sisters and I had a big responsibility, taking care of his health needs, his broken heart, and his home and pets.  

            My business eeked slowly along, all momentum jerked away. Somehow we managed to stay open, though sometimes I wonder how. I saw very few clients, stopped writing, and completely quit taking care of my home. I was not meditating, not working with my angels or guides, basically just stuck in a deep pit of grief. A few months after my mom’s death, my husband Scott discovered that I had not paid a bill in months. I just stopped. I have no explanation, I just quit doing it. Grief does weird things like that. Lucky for me, he kicked into high gear, caring for our children, home, and pets.

            The holidays marched by painfully, a brutal reminder of the gaping hole in our family. I just continued to survive, to get by, but not live. I still went to work, hosted radio shows, and took care of my dad. I put on a brave face at his house, because I did not want my pain to somehow make his pain, or my sisters’ pain, worse. I put on a brave face for my clients, though many of them saw through that and nurtured and loved me through it.

            Valentine’s Day came, and I went to work feeling terrible. My mom loved Valentine’s Day. She always made sugar cookies with the kids and decorated them. They took great joy in delivering plates to cookies and love to family and friends. That day at work, a miracle happened. A sweet client walked in the door with a beautiful, heart shaped sugar cookie with pink icing for each of us. She explained that she woke up that morning feeling like she had to bring us sugar cookies, and came right in with them. In that moment, I somehow knew that I was going to be okay. I still had life, I still had love, and my mom was still delivering sugar cookies.

            I started to wake up from my daze. My house was a mess. My frazzled husband was worn out. My business needed some major attention. I stepped gently back into my life and started taking back my power. Slowly but surely, I started to climb out of the deep pit of grief. Each act of love from my family, friends, and clients lifted me a little higher. I still had really rough days, but I was flying higher. I got back to caring for my spirit, writing, and meditating.

One particularly rough day, I was gifted with yet another miracle that touched me deep in my soul. I was running late for work, parked my car, and hurried down the street to my store. A street performer stopped me and asked if he could sing me a song. Though I was running late, something made me stop and listen. As he strummed the first few notes, my eyes welled up with tears. He was singing “Let It Be”. This was my mom’s favorite song. It was performed at her funeral, and every time I hear it I am deeply connected to her. I listened to his lovely rendition with tears streaming down my face. At some point he forgot the words, and I filled them in seamlessly, the lyrics indelibly written in my heart. When he was done, I hugged him and thanked him for being on an angel’s errand that day. I walked on to work, full of hope and healing.

Many miracles have happened since. Countless acts of love have occurred on my behalf. My dad joined her in heaven just 17 short months from the moment she left us, and I walked (and sometimes crawled) through the grieving process all over again. I have learned to find the joy and magic in every situation that I find myself in. I have learned to be stubbornly optimistic, to demand to see the silver lining of every cloud. But I haven’t done any of that by myself. I have learned to ask for help, to lean when I needed to lean, to stay home and grieve when my heart asked for it, and to be vulnerable with my soul. I am forever changed, and I am forever grateful for the tender mercies that have been shown to me as I have found myself all over again.

Write a comment

Comments: 12
  • #1

    Lisa Loughlin (Sunday, 12 April 2015 18:30)

    Dearest Katie,
    Once again our paths are so parallel in a way that I cannot explain, my Gypsy sister.
    Since the last time we spoke on your radio show my life has changed and evolved in so many ways that I cannot even count.
    I thank you for this blog. You empower me with your honesty.I need direction add guidance right now. This truly helps.
    Much Love to you Katie
    Lisa Loughlin

  • #2

    Pamela Le Maitre (Wednesday, 15 April 2015 12:51)

    Thank you so much for reminding me of the beautiful angels, treasures and sweet surprises that show up for us just at the perfect time. All my love!

  • #3

    Susan (Thursday, 16 April 2015 22:17)

    You are a beautiful soul filled with much love that you share with so many, only to be reminded you are loved by all of us. Your precious words of wisdom, your random acts of kindness, your radio show, your readings, basically you dear Sister!!!! You are loved by many here on this earth plane and those who have crossed. Never a day goes by that you are not loved. Thank you for being such a blessed soul who shares so much of herself. With lots of love I send you a Heart felt Hug!!!!!

  • #4

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  • #5

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  • #6

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  • #7

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  • #8

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  • #9

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  • #10

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  • #11

    Fae Brune (Thursday, 09 February 2017 23:48)

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  • #12

    Lauren Becker (Thursday, 23 March 2017 21:13)

    Katie thank you for sharing your story! ❤️
    It's truly amazing how the people we love stay connected to us, even beyond the physical. I too have lost a parent to cancer. My father made his transition in Jan 2010.
    I remember the grief, the fog that enters the mind, and going through the motions of Life. Then out of the blue, a sign, a kind stranger with a message, a timely song, a visitation dream, or the fond memories that reenter your mind, seemingly out of the blue, that bring a smile to your face. Although its been over seven years now, I'm forever grateful when I receive little reminders of him.
    Thanks for sharing��