A Mistake by Any Other Name

Mistake. I really hate that word. It denotes that someone has done something wrong, broken the rules, colored outside of the lines. I frequently hear from clients that are working on making a decision, and they are frightened of making a mistake. There's so much shame in it. So much judgment. If I make a mistake, then I will have to bear the consequences. If I make a mistake then others may think less of me. If I make a mistake I may change my life in some unchangeable way that I will regret forever. There is so much pressure to do things right, to get it right the first time. Don't make a mistake.


It took me the better part of 35 years to realize that I really don't believe in mistakes. I believe in learning. I believe in evaluating a choice and deciding if it's what I would do next time. I believe and letting life be messy. It has nothing to do with being “right” all the time or carefully guarding ourselves from making mistakes. Aren’t all of our choices really just opportunities for self-evaluation? I guess it's true that we then have to use them as an opportunity for self-evaluation and perhaps we don't always. Maybe it's too painful or maybe we just really don't want to revisit it. The truth is every decision or choice we make in our life sets on the next path. There's no saying that it is or isn't the right path. It's your path. Your path may be uphill and straight back down hill. Your path may be full of jagged lines. Your path maybe straight and narrow and never re positioning. Your path may be wavy and flowy. Your life is yours alone to judge and evaluate. You may not always get a say in detour along the way, but you always get a say in how you choose to act and react to changes.


Ultimately I believe that we are better off by doing away with the word and the energy behind mistake. When we are willing, when we are brave enough to put ourselves in the path of whatever lessons life has to give us, we are living an authentic life. We are living in a space of allowing Spirit flow through us. When life lessons happen, evaluate. Learn from it what would you do differently next time? What gifts and gems can you take from this situation? But don’t ever put yourself down, shame your choices or be disappointed in yourself. You can be, you should be, your own best ally. Love you, love your lessons and scars, and keep your chin up. You are exactly who you are supposed to be!